I've been thinking about strengths and weaknesses and how they are often the same quality, a virtue in some situations, a flaw in others. I can be brave and strong, or stubborn as a mule, depending on the circumstance (or the point of view of the person on the other side).
The trick is seeing clearly enough to use one's strengths wisely. What is the long view? Cultivating skillful means can take some time, a lifetime, really.
When is it right to stand up and name a problem? When is it best to step aside and let the problem resolve? The answer might not be obvious right away. Is it possible to remain in the discomfort of not doing anything yet?
I may need to pause to view the disagreement from all sides and be at peace with my decision. The resolution may simply be that the issue is more important to someone else than it is to me.
It's a shame there's no one-size-fits-all for every situation. Then one could always be adamant, or forever accommodating.
The five Buddha families describe the wise and confused aspects of our qualities. How we express them depends on our own awareness and understanding of them.
From “The Five Buddha Families,” by Irini Rockwell:
Spaciousness can be receptive, accommodating, easygoing and content with just being…
…. or dull, lazy, stubborn and insensitive.
Clarity can be clear-minded with an intellectual brilliance, sharp and precise…
…or self-righteous, overly analytical, critical, opinionated, authoritarian and demanding of perfection.
Richness can be expansive, resourceful, hospitable and appreciative…
…or greedy, arrogant, ostentatious, oppressive and emotionally needy.
Passion can be finely-tuned intuition that discriminates subtle experiences without bias, engaging, magnetizing and charming…
…or overly emotional, and perpetually seeking confirmation.
Activity can be working for the benefit of others, efficient, effective and practical…
…or power-hungry, competitive, manipulative, controlling and dominating.
We can see the same contradictions in those around us: peacemaking becoming placating, inspired activity becoming bulldozing.
As we come to understand ourselves, so we learn to understand each other.